Designer: Manikka
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im so f**king stressed.

i HATE feeling stressed just before flying off for a holiday.

(KNNBCCB*@&^)(%)_!*&@*!!! )

SCREW U CHAO NTU FOR MAKING ME WRITE A SHITASS LAME REPORT WHICH DOESNT EVEN COUNT TOWARDS MY GPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (#%*($&^*^@(&!!!!!

i so wanna document my misery about writing this wankified report before my happy holiday (which is absolutely ruined by the farking mandatory report im supposed to hand in, in HARDCOPY?!?!?! hello ask me go all the way to bloody boonlay just for nothing?!).

screw u. NTU. screw u. /flashes third finger in full-fledged glory at your farking muted, dreary faggoty walls.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

i bought new undies! HOHOHO.

Sylvia Plath - The Bell Jar

on change:

"...i felt like a racehorse in a world without race-tracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone.."

on decisions:

"i saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked."

on making decisions (or more aptly, indecision):

"i saw myself sitting on the crotch of this fig-tree, starving to death, just because i couldn't make up my mind which of the figs i would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet"

on giving up:

"piece by piece, i fed my wardrobe to the night wind, and flutteringly, like a loved one's ashes, the grey scraps were ferried off, to settle here, there, exactly where i would never know, in the dark heart of New York.."

on not wanting to let go, or desire at its passive most:

"i hadn't, at the last moment, felt like washing off the two diagonal lines of dried blood that marked my cheeks. they seemed touching, and rather spectacular, and i thought i would carry them around with me, like the relic of a dead lover, till they wore off of their own accord."

on fear, escape and emptiness:

"a floorboard creaked, and i ducked down again, just as her face, by instinct, or some gift of supernatural hearing, turned on the little pivot of its neck.

i felt her gaze pierce through the white clapboard and the pink, wallpaper roses and uncover me, crouching there behind the silver pickets of the radiator.

i crawled back into bed and pulled the sheets over my head. but even that didn't shut out the light, so i buried my head under the darkness of the pillow and pretended it was night. I couldn't see the point of getting up.

i had nothing to look forward to."


--------------------------------------------------------
the book is insanely riveting as one traces her imminent breakdown. im so gonna complete it before i fly off, yay.

its the last day of my internship at club21, and im pretty much plagued by an avalanche of mixed emotions.

ohwells.

am already missing some of them. it was nevertheless a awesome learning experience, and thank God for that (:



goodbye politics and hello hk!!

21sts

happy bday twins (: ill still love u two despite u both rejecting my outburst of deeep deeeep affection for u both.

bad bad eggs. dint ur mum teach you to be nice to -ahem- sweet, innocent, young (hello u both are older) girls like MEEEE??!

thoughts -

the past determines the present, and thus the future is underpinned by experiences before.

perhaps, anchored in this theory of a cyclical relationship between the past, present and the future is the inexorable truth of terminal enervation? (no terminal would be too harsh, perhaps eventual might be a better word.)

therefore, to simplify the equation, the past sets the milieu of the future, and the future a vestige of our pasts.

i still cannot let go of the past. im biased, still.

it just quite struck me during my shower that i have a penchant for leaving many shows half-watched. sure, that could be emblematic of me as a person - a weak minded plastid, an abject waste of space?

nevertheless, warped as it is, i quite relish the inkling of not knowing, and the aching curiosity that is bubbling within. half-watched shows implicitly empowers the audience to take charge, almost like a harebrained teacher who haphazardly threw you your brush of imagination, to fill up an empty white canvas. there are endless possibilities to what your mind can bring you. with delirious, but mindful strokes you paint away. absolutely consumed in the riveting chasm of your own fantasy.

it is there, that i find my happy little world!

im severely addicted to haato ice cream. how ar?

the misadventures of little spring and pyjamas -

little spring: "eh what are you gonna do for your birthday ar?"
me: "dunno leh, i was thinking of a pj party, but so far, responses aren't very positive"
little spring: "eee pang jio party"
me: WAHAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! /rolls off chair

wahrao super funny can. pang jio party. HAHAHAHA. i couldnt stop chuckling to myself on my way home. somehow funny things make the treacherous path home so much more bearable. (:


ps: the real identity of little spring is withheld for anonymity because my dear friend little spring, cowers and shrivels up like a little prune when i affectionately call his/her real name.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love”.

1 John 4:18 (:

i just read this on Catalog magazine and was pretty tickled so im gonna share the joy with all of you here!

reaaaaally stewpid pick up lines:

1) your father must be a baker, coz you sure have some HOT BUNS.

2) your father must be a farmer, coz you sure have grown some nice melons (twins and sr would love this and the one the preceding this haha!)

3) you make me melt like a hot fudge on a sundae. (ogaaaay?! your so hot im gonna sip u like a hot cuppa' coffee?)

4) you must be a Snickers because you satisfy me (i just dont get this)

5) baby im milk and ill do your body good (woohoo! imagine The Rock in Be Cool smacking his ass cheeks in that tight blue 60s' bell bottoms and doing his eyebrow raising thing saying this, freaking hilarious la!!)

6) im not drunk, im just intoxicated by you (ew. if you barf all over me im so gonna stab ur balls)

7) if this bar is the meat market, you must be the prime rib (HAHA)

ATTENTION: IVY LIM WEI

if you got ur hp back, msg me!!! i wanna lunch with u SEXY :D

convos:

1) with sijing -

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
omg. what song is that?

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
u know some disgusting guy on my msn has the same nick as U!!!!

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. says:
the enrique iglesias one

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. says:
OMG

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
change change change!

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. says:
OKAY OKAY CHANGE CHANGE

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
pui pui pui

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
papa is a cavemaN!!!

hugashaga says:
HAHA HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW ONE!

hugashaga says:
HAHAHA

hugashaga says:
really

hugashaga says:
i shall choose wisely in future

hugashaga says:
hurhur

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
i dont get it??!

hugashaga says:
it's like HUGASHAGA HUGASHA GA

hugashaga says:
with the caveman

hugashaga says:
stomping

hugashaga says:
on the floor

hugashaga says:
with his stick


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. so retarded.

2) with mr "speshul" (as he calls himself haha) -

mr speshul says:
i love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my

mr speshul says:
yar. haha

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
IM GONNA BLOG IT DOWN

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
HAHHAHA

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
and im gonna put ur name WAHHAHAHA

mr speshul says:
haha

mr speshul says:
hon i sense you have derived great delight from this

mr speshul says:
calm yourself

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
hahaha.did u just call me hon

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
THATS IT.

siyu: "the silence depressed me. it wasnt the silence of silence. it was my own silence." says:
im blogging it down

TSK TSK. you scandalous philander, ive caught you! haha.