Designer: Manikka
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all the culminated stress from school work seems to bring out weird behaviors and cravings amongst everyone

lily - she asked me to open my fridge and suck in the cool air from the freezer and .......chill -.- i worry for your to-be-students. HAHA

me - i'm craving for tiramisu really bad, which is quite an anomaly for someone who doesn't really like cakes, deserts, and the like. too atas la dey, and my klutziness will make sure part of the cake/desert ends up either on my top, on my shoes, on the waiter, on the floor or some part of my friend's body. but heck, as a motivation to keep going, here is delectable mr. tiramisu - im so going to chomp you down and lick you clean, babAe HAAAAA.

our treatment towards those closest to us is a candid testimony of one's character, at our truthful best.

its so strange that when we are all leaving under the same roof, we speak the least, spat words out with such abject spite at each other, view each other with such malicious scrutiny and, remain so guarded.

sijing, as much as i know washing dirty linen in public isn't the most ingenious option, its so hard to get you. you are either in purposeful rapt of the contents of your laptop, the google box or sleeping (not that its anything wrong to be sleeping). i am trying as hard to talk to you but all i get is a grunt that im bothering. i message you, attempt to "disturb" you like how i always did, spout gibberish thinking that you would respond with at least "thats so lame la, diufus". i am just asking for some answer that the stupid little things i do is not in vain. i must be a real fool.

your coldness towards me lucidly juxtaposes against your treatment towards your friends - its all merriment. what i cannot comprehend is how your tolerance to my faults plummet drastically from such a pinnacle(for friends) to well below the ground. i simply do not understand what is wrong, but if Pride is of such imperative that it takes precedence over the things that should really matter in life, then at least, i wish for an explanation for an amicable closure.

lastly, i shall end with a picture of us during happier times. (that sounds so dramatically ominous HMM.)


PS: anyway, tims i think you need your haircut soon. (: winnie is back.

you...........

incompetent, irresponsible, nonchalent, assuming, manipulative , shit-selfish, time-waster-kinda people AND school. to those/things that fall into that category, fuck you seriously. and i hate people who take me like im some push-over. YEA wait till i unleash all that rage in my small frame. im not borne in the tiger year for nothing alright.

f u world. f u.

hello everyone, i officially fall into the no-lifers club. its so dreary drag my ass outta bed (which is such an onerous task) on weekends to either, meet for projects projects and more projects or, churn out reports/assignments/editing for projects.

damn. endorphines, where the bloody hell are you?!?! (ohyea btw, the italized is the tagline for an Australian tourism ad thats played in UK, and consequently banned, because of the "bloody" used. and they said its more liberal in the west. HMM! i know this from research on a school project. SEE I TOLD YOU im a no-lifer!! shit. haha)

UGLY BETTY IS DAMN FUNNY.

"just to let you know, you were a terrific rock" HAHAHAHA the really sweet extent of parental love. but darn, why did i only see the hilarity of it. :/

oh it has been a tumultuous week to say the least. apologies for the measly updates (or rather, none at all). but hell, im back with a fury, literally.

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. yes, never belittle the viciousness of an angry woman. results are often calamitous. but perhaps, thats just epitome of literature shrouded with male bigotry in the past, and more so, in the present. instead of hurling the full intensity of blame upon the feeble shoulders of the so-called lesser gender, why not question the reason for her "fury"? oh yes i see the petulant toss of your head, insinuating what you think is my trifling annoyance over petty affairs. here's my reply to you:

Thanks SO MUCH for nothing at all - for making feel like a fool for actually thinking you aren't as bad as you seem, but hell, now i know what a vile character you are. Thanks for causing so much agony to my ex. yes surely, i am no angel, but you aren't me, you aren't in my shoes, so why judge? why prosecute someone with so much aplomb and zest, whom is all but a stranger to you?

lastly, thank you for making me a stronger person. goodbye and to hell with you.

ps: to those who really care, im still here for you always. mwah. haha

my dear readers,

oh please pardon me for the rather fatalistic (previous) post. its the sporadic appearance of my depressive alter-ego. in any case, i found this article in the newspaper extremely helpful in dealing with our oh-so-bleak outlook of life. may i quote:

"Men are troubled not so much by circumstances as by the reactions to circumstances"
- Epictetus

Epictetus was a stoic, who believed in cultivating indifference to circumstances outside our control (whoa, he totally belongs to the category of an absolute externalizers in Psychology -kowtows profusely-) He too, emphasized the need to distinguish between things we can control and things we cannot, if not risk being a defeatist in the journey of life. Indeed well-said, like the ever wise old sage.

so may this be a word of encouragement to those who are emotionally, psychologically and spiritually battered. for now, stoicism reigns!

therein life lies the murky demarcation between self-destruction and strength. it is then, most dire to suffer erratic oscillation between the two extremes. as it slowly assaults and gnaws at your waning strength, as much as the soul attempts to resist. and on other days, when self-destruction reigns, it just gets worse - at best, a weak demur. slowly, the insidious manifestation of Nihilism kills off the soul, that was once very happy. at the last draw of breath, the soul ironically realizes and struggles to keep alive.

and the vicious cycle begins again. again and again.

i think..... you are coming back to haunt me again, as much ive tried to mask you up with a sunny facade, damned you with such utmost disdain. you, the life of popping pills, delirious sleepness nights, exasperated bawling, incessant self-loathing, self-doubting.

please just go away. and, forever if possible.

im soooooo darn screwed!!! just realized i have to submit the 15page report and a bloody amateurish advert this wed instead of fri!! im screwed!!!!

okay bye. needa go churn out the report. please oh god give me like 48 hours in a day! im absolutely delirious. haha screwed!!!