Saturday, March 10, 2007
therein life lies the murky demarcation between self-destruction and strength. it is then, most dire to suffer erratic oscillation between the two extremes. as it slowly assaults and gnaws at your waning strength, as much as the soul attempts to resist. and on other days, when self-destruction reigns, it just gets worse - at best, a weak demur. slowly, the insidious manifestation of Nihilism kills off the soul, that was once very happy. at the last draw of breath, the soul ironically realizes and struggles to keep alive.and the vicious cycle begins again. again and again.
i think..... you are coming back to haunt me again, as much ive tried to mask you up with a sunny facade, damned you with such utmost disdain. you, the life of popping pills, delirious sleepness nights, exasperated bawling, incessant self-loathing, self-doubting.
please just go away. and, forever if possible.